A Dive Into My Story

Where do I begin?! There are so many layers about my journey that have gotten me where I am today. I’d like to preface with trigger warnings as I am taking this as a safe space to be vulnerable and share my story: This is just my story and yes that includes some life changing trauma. 

I am a survivor of physical and sexual trauma that lasted years during my early childhood. Most of my early childhood was spent in Toledo Children’s Hospital due to extreme digestive health complications. I developed eating disorders at the ripe age of eight years old. I battled a life threatening MRSA infection for two and a half weeks from a knee wound my freshman year of high school which led to an incidental finding of an eight ounce tumor inside my lower femur. Which then led to a surgery on my femur, experiencing my first tastes of pain meds, followed by a ten month recovery. I later in my early adulthood experienced more sexual trauma. To be completely honest, I did not take the time to fully process any of my trauma or heal until the last few years; I am now twenty seven. Consequently, I spent most of my late teens and early twenties abusing a lot of heavy substances which eventually led to legal trouble. My passion and love for makeup artistry that began at twelve years old has always served as a creative outlet for me. Because I took honors and AP classes all throughout high school, I never had the opportunity to take too many art electives as my schedule was packed full of math and science classes.

 By senior year, I was quite burnt out, and I knew in my soul that I would be miserable had I followed my initial plan to study medicine. I last minute changed my major to fashion apparel merchandise with a focus in textiles at Bowling Green State University. A career in fashion would tie in nicely to my love for makeup artistry. My freshman year in college, however, turned sour despite having such a strong first semester with a 4.0 GPA and being awarded collegiate scholars. A toxic relationship mixed with a near daily narcotic substance abuse quickly caught up to me by second semester. I withdrew from college and shortly after landed behind bars in spring of 2016. After being released, I had a long stretch of house arrest, probation and random drug testing. That was one of the lowest moments for me in life, but honestly a blessing in disguise. I had a lot of time to reflect on myself and create a plan to accomplish as much as I possibly could to make my sentence pass by as quickly as possible. Yes, I did leave the toxic relationship after my arrest.

In my three year probation sentence, I attended beauty school at the Aveda Institute in Columbus, Ohio, became a licensed esthetician, attended college with a focus in human nutrition sciences, completed advanced esthetician training, and in my free time studied herbalism and yoga. This was also a time period of discovering my inner sense of spirituality and my mindfulness journey. Although my probation sentence ended in 2019, I was legally obligated to wait an additional year before I was eligible to have my record expunged. Thankfully, it is now as if nothing ever happened. 

Beginning of 2020 my record became expunged, and I thought I was finally free, or so I thought. Of course, this was also the time the world shut down only a few months later. I always juggled multiple jobs between working as an esthetician, serving and bartending. Being furloughed and experiencing a drastic change in my schedule from sixty to eighty hour work weeks to suddenly being stuck home led to some harsh realizations with myself. I realized I masked most of my inner child wounds through heavy work weeks and substances. This was the spring I experienced a tough mental breakdown. I dedicated the summer of 2020 to address my mental health and discover more within myself through a sober living facility. I became a certified meditation practitioner and teacher during this time as well. 

Full transparency, my experience was not the best in this type of treatment. I frequently felt misunderstood, not listened to, and discriminated against by the staff. I was heavily medicated leading to adverse allergic reactions and hives all over my body. Later after tapering off all the meds, I also experienced some of the worst hormonal adult cystic acne of my life, which was to be expected as a side effect from psych meds. During this time of being mostly alone, I read The Body Keeps the Score written by Bessel van der Kolk, which taught me so much to help me understand my trauma better and also have much more awareness of how others think when affected by a multitude of mental disorders. Additionally, I received my official diagnosis of PTSD. I am eternally grateful I had my close family and friends to rely on to support me through this time.

In the fall of 2020, I felt a craving for radical change in my life. I soon discovered the world of permanent makeup and was instantly intrigued. By fall of 2021, I began permanent makeup training at Allegra Studio in Aurora, Ohio. The world of permanent makeup training is still quite a fresh industry so there is not much regulation in PMU training. Thankfully, I had a mentor who was extremely thorough compared to most. We spent a few weeks at home studying color theory, reading textbooks about the science of PMU, skin physiology, mapping and completing work books. The final week for 7 days straight, 9 hours a day was spent with hands-on training. This was by far one of the most challenging yet exhilarating experiences as an artist. I learned how to create powder brows, hair strokes, lip blushing, permanent eyeliner, and tiny tattoos all within that week. My mentor had a strong Russian accent and demanded perfection. She truly brought out the best in me early on; she made me want to level up paying especially close attention to detail and precision. 

On November 14th of 2021 I discovered Brick House Tattoo in Toledo, Ohio, a female owned and operated tattoo shop, where I was brought on to the team as a PMU artist and tiny tattooer. I left my serving job and continued working part time as an esthetician for a nearby salon. A few months later, I had surgery on my dominant wrist to remove a cyst on my joint that caused tattooing to be extremely painful. It was such a mental hurdle to trust that I would not experience permanent nerve damage in the way I did in my femur as this was a much less invasive surgery. Nonetheless, it was humbling, unable to use my dominant hand for 6 weeks and rebuild strength following that to be able to tattoo again. A few months later, I was requested by a client to create a floral hip piece for her. During her consultation, we had a very transparent conversation that she would be a practice canvas for me to graduate from tiny tattoos into large scale pieces. I learned so much in that session and that was the beginning of me diving deeper into the world of body art.

By June 14th of 2022, I took the biggest risk in my career by obtaining my own LLC and transition full time to self-employed as both an artist and esthetician. Brick House had its own spa license which allowed me to offer all services under one roof. I am beyond thankful to have had such a safe space that allowed me to grow as a small business owner. Additionally, I jumped at the opportunity to begin working as a traveling artist completing guest spots in Brooklyn, NY at Haven, in New Orleans, Louisiana at Big Easy Tattoo, in Lakewood, Colorado at Disruptive Ink and another in Lyman, South Carolina at Sacred Magnolia. 

In October of 2023 I completed my first paramedical tattoo certification through Ink Boutique Houston for scar camouflage and 3D navel restoration. (Soon I will be certified in 3D areola restoration for double mastectomy patients!) Moreover, during most of 2023 I was able to work as a partner by managing all Brick House Tattoo shop social media, growing our following on Instagram from 1,300 to 4,200 just before I left in November of 2023 to relocate to where I am today in Arizona. 

Initially, my plan was to only work at Sentient Tattoo Collective in Tempe, Arizona for the cold months, to get away from the Midwest, but I soon fell in love with the shop itself, the desert, and the mountains. I quickly changed my mind and decided to stay as a resident artist! Huge shout out to Tyson and Kate Weed for being such incredible business owners and welcoming me to the shop family!!

 As of late January 2024, I accepted my position as a permanent makeup artist, paramedical tattooer, and esthetician at Desert Valley Cosmetic and Medical Tattoo in North Scottsdale, Arizona. Major shout out to studio owner Heather Moore! She is a wealth of knowledge and an incredible paramedical tattoo mentor. I now have the pleasure of focusing on my craft and learning to get better each day in two absolutely amazing studios. I feel so blessed that this career allows me to channel my creativity every single day and has given me opportunities to travel. Traveling has always been so good for my soul. I never envisioned myself as a kid growing up to be a tattooer, but I seriously feel that this ancient practice chose me. Tattooing will forever be such a sacred part of my life that I will forever cherish.

What I hope to accomplish by sharing my story is to share that we might not have the choice in trauma that may happen in our lives. We do have a choice in how we heal. There might be moments where we can feel at our absolute rock bottom, and we are forced to face our shadows. Getting in touch with our deepest emotions and deepening our human experience through shadow work is not easy, but it is essential to healing and moving forward. Doing so will then open you up to endless possibilities and opportunities. So much can happen in such a small amount of time; give yourself grace, practice patience, and trust in the unknown, maybe even take some time to wander. Trust that you are endlessly supported by the cosmos even amidst darkness. Lean into “a great perhaps.”

I’d like to especially thank my family and friends for being so supportive during all this transition in my life. They have been my rock as I took my healing journey a step further with heavy EMDR therapy all of summer 2022 throughout my last session just before I left for Arizona. I am now on a journey of new self discovery as I create and deepen roots in Arizona. Thank you Angels, thank you Ancestors, thank you Universe and all other spirit guides above me for your guidance on this journey!